I decided long ago that the only babies I’d ever have in my life would have four legs, wagging tails, and wet noses.
Whether you exclusively want little ones of the fuzzy variety or your heart is big enough for babies of all kinds, you know that there’s a certain psychosis we all share as crazy pet moms and dads.
Is spending $60 on the perfect harness nuts? Definitely not! Is flooding social media with pictures of your furbaby a crime? Nope. (In fact, it is a gift.) Here are 14 funny realities of pet parenthood that we all know a little too well.
1. Even if you haven’t seen your human family members for a long time, you ultimately just ask about the dog.
2. “Your” Instagram account actually belongs to the fuzzy creature that’s slowly taken over your life.
3. Spending inordinate amounts of money on your pet is fine because credit card debt doesn’t exist if you ignore it.
4. You carry your furbaby around in public because the world should feel blessed to be in the presence of greatness.
5. You start avoiding cafes that don’t allow your pets to come chill with you.
6. No one in your circle would dare insult your (probably unhealthy) relationship with your four-legged friend for fear of reaping the consequences.
7. This nonsense happens when you come home from a night out.
8. You buy outfits for your animals because it’s weird to let your children go out in public naked.
9. You have 300 names for them and they respond to every single one because they gave up on you years ago.
10. If they veer from their usual habits in any way, you rush them to the vet and demand to see a doctor.
11. When it comes to baby talking, you go from zero to crazy REAL quick.
12. They get you every damn time with those eyes. Another treat? I AM POWERLESS.
13. You buy yourself whatever’s cheapest at the grocery store, but you only get the best for your pets.
14. But above all else, you both have a best friend for life.
They may take all our money and turn us into total softies at every turn, but there’s nothing quite like hanging out with your best buddies all day. What’s your favorite thing about being a pet parent?
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