’28 dog years experience in sales’: How to ruin a resume hashtag game


President Obama has totally revived the economy (‘What is he smoking?’: POTUS: We’re much better off, people just don’t ‘feel it’), so naturally people are dusting off their resumes to get one of those high tech jobs that will be available as soon as we raise the minimum wage.

What better time to have a hashtag game about how to #RuinAResume?

It is officially 10:30 on the EAST COAST! My life partner @nerdgangbang and I bring you: #RuinAResume! pic.twitter.com/08XBQ2fT2a

— Jorschach's Journal™ (@Jorschach) September 29, 2014

Special Skills: My mom says my tweets are really quite clever and that people really like me #RuinAResume

— Christopher Dalton (@LouGeese) September 29, 2014

Cover letter made from the skin of a hobo. #RuinAResume

— Spray Tan Solo (@WeepingCheeto) September 29, 2014

1994 Pogs World Champion #RuinAResume

— Travis Lindsay (@Trav_is_lindsay) September 29, 2014

Written in cut-out letters from various magazines #RuinAResume

— Joe Messina (@joemessin) September 29, 2014

Work well in a solo enviroment, i.e., leave me the f*** alone. #RuinAResume

— View from my office (@viewfrommyoffic) September 29, 2014

Graduated with honors from high school when I was 23 #RuinAResume

— Kevin Chaba (@kevinchaba) September 29, 2014

I'm on Twitter…so there's that. #RuinAResume

— Ms. Em (@Emphoto21) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume Selfie-folio

— Kacey (@KaceyecaK) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume Once killed a man in Reno just to watch him die.

— Mutt Pritchett (@Ti_FusedCynic) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume liberally sprinkle "and whatnot" in the Job Responsibilities section.

— The Wall Street Bull (@TheWallStBull) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume Hobbies: Baby photography, taxidermy, breeding Death's Head moths and sewing.

— Canis Pundit, Inc (@TheTobyK9) September 29, 2014

I once sold weed to Danny Bonnaducci #RuinAResume

— Fox Band (@efoxband) September 29, 2014

I graduated from the University of Joaquin Phoenix Online #RuinAResume

— KevinDillon (@Dillonopolous) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume WORK EXPERIENCE:Community Organizer in My Community Where I Organized Unorganized Community Things That Needed Organizing #tcot

— Imaumbn™ (@Imaumbn) September 29, 2014

Background: 28 dog years of experience in sales. #RuinAResume

— Jorschach's Journal™ (@Jorschach) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume WORK EXPERIENCE: Speech Coach & Linguistics Advisor for @TheRevAl Sharpton #tcot #teaparty

— Imaumbn™ (@Imaumbn) September 29, 2014

Personal accomplishment(s): Passed 3/10 of my last drug tests. Boom! #RuinAResume

— Slim Shady (@amstarbuxgal) September 29, 2014

Grilled cheese expert. #RuinAResume

— MustBeTheMeds (@MustBeTheMeds) September 29, 2014

Very very very very very very very very very extremely detail oriented #RuinAResume

— Karen Miller (@maya_dancer) September 29, 2014

I'm black (oh snap, I went there) #ruinaresume

— William (@Will3K85) September 29, 2014

I graduated from the University of Joaquin Phoenix Online #RuinAResume

— KevinDillon (@Dillonopolous) September 29, 2014

Featured on tosh.o #RuinAResume

— Dani Rose (@inqvmnd) September 29, 2014

Personal/Hobbies: Single parent who enjoys spending quality time with my 7 children (ages 2mths to 6yrs) #RuinAResume

— Erin (@erinkcopeland) September 29, 2014

I just want a job that allows me to search for other jobs on the internet all day. #RuinAResume

— Karen Eileen (@Karen__Chan) September 29, 2014

#RuinAResume Travis County District Attorney pic.twitter.com/JTfHj5THGp

— Daniel Snyder (@danmsnyder) September 29, 2014

I am obligated by law to inform you that… #RuinAResume

— Chris Cain (@ccain529) September 29, 2014

Won a hashtag war #RuinAResume

— Dani Rose (@inqvmnd) September 29, 2014

You’re hired!

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/09/28/28-dog-years-of-experience-in-sales-how-to-ruin-a-resume-hashtag-game/